In Minnesota, summer isn’t only a completely different season, but it’s a completely different frame of mind. Because we’re able to enjoy the outdoors on a consistent basis, we adjust our schedules and wardrobe accordingly, and with great glee!
For some of us, though, it brings on past memories and current struggles with how we view people. The temptation to objectify others, especially during lake days and times at the beach, carries with it shame, falling back into lustful patterns, or, at the least, distraction from what really matters.
No matter how egregious your behavior or thoughts, and no matter how minor you think this struggle is, the call from God remains the same on each of his children: “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’” 1 Peter 1:14-16 (ESV). It’s not a call to perfection, it’s a call to being practically set apart from the world and it’s passion and being set apart toward God-honoring conduct and thinking.
These lake scenarios or summer schedules can be what’s known as “triggers.” They aren’t wrong per se, but they are situations or experiences that lead us toward what Seven Pillars of Freedom from Pure Desire calls the inner circle. Pure Desire uses a set of three concentric circles as a visual to track triggers and healthy self-care options. Here is how you can use this tool to prepare for your summer:
Take a piece of paper and draw three concentric circles (three sized, inside of each other). Now, using summer as your context, list in the center circle all of the behaviors and thoughts that you want to avoid this summer when it comes to your purity. It could be concerning objectification, fantasy, or sexual behaviors outside of marriage. Now, moving outward in the second circle, write down all the things that tend to lead you into those inner-circle behaviors. These are activities and thinking that are not wrong, but that can lead you down the wrong path, like a trigger. Think of things like family trips to the lake, times of isolation, or even things like vacations that take you away from your healthy routines or structure. Finally, the outer circle is reserved for all the things that bring you into healthy rhythms, that fill you with truth, and that motivate you to honor God. These would be your Bible and prayer times, extended time with your spouse, children, or close friends, or positive down-time activities like podcasts, outings in nature, or other church-related events. In the coming weeks, find more things you can add to this outer circle.
Our prayer is that you use this tool to take your purity to a whole new level this summer. Don’t think of this exercise or tool as a silver bullet that will fix everything. Rather think of it as a way to grow your outer circle so that it overwhelms your inner circle and gives your middle circle less ammunition. Being set apart for service to God is an honor and a gift that, as obedient children, will help you flourish as a follower of Jesus.
An offer to pastors: Connect with other pastors over the topic of sexual integrity while getting trained in a resource that could help others as well. Join the 30-Day Challenge (through The Freedom Fight) during the month of August. Email Paul Klassen for details.
Paul Klassen
Broken Strength