“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)
Every few years, my wife Jola and I revisit some old friends in the fictional town of Mitford, NC as we reread the Mitford Series by Jan Karon. In these wonderful books we glimpse the everyday life of Father Timothy Kavanagh, a country parson who is very good at shepherding but not very good at self-care. (Spoiler Alert: On at least two occasions, Father Tim’s lack of self-care lands him in a diabetic coma! Enough said.) In one particularly trying season, Father Tim is sharing a common ministry struggle, spiritual dryness and fatigue, with a friend and retired pastor, Absalom Greer, and they have a frank conversation with a startling conclusion:
Tim: “I can’t say my current tribulation is anything like that. But in an odd way, it’s something almost worse.”
Absalom: “What’s that?” (Greer asked kindly.)
Tim: “When it comes to feeding His sheep, I’m afraid my sermons are about as nourishing as cardboard.”
Absalom: “Are you resting?”
Tim: “Resting?”
Absalom: “Resting. Sometimes we get so worn out with being useful that we get useless. I’ll ask you what another preacher once asked: Are you too exhausted to run and too scared to rest?” (At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon, p. 249)
Absalom raises an interesting question for us to consider in our ministry contexts: “Are we too exhausted to run and too scared to rest?” As I thought about this question, I was reminded about something I recently read about pastoral resilience.
“Resilient pastors develop the inner resources and supportive relationships that enable them to prioritize their own spiritual, emotional and physical needs; to view challenges realistically; to learn from their mistakes; to consider alternate perspectives and new processes; and to expect that God is at work even in adverse situations.” – David Kinnaman, President of Barna Group (The State of Pastors, 2017, p. 9) (Emphasis mine)
This thought was echoed at the NCD Lead Pastor Prayer Gathering at the start of 2025 when Carlton P. Harris, Acting President of the EFCA shared 11 challenges facing the church today. His first challenge was this:
“Pastors’ spiritual, emotional, mental, and relational health: Pastors are tired. Pastors often burn out due to conflict in the church, financial strain, family issues, lack of sabbatical, isolation, and feeling overwhelmed by the pain in their churches. There can be a pervasive loneliness among pastors. Pastors need personal support. As leaders go, so goes the church. Healthy churches are led by healthy leaders.” (Emphasis mine)
Much of this struggle rests on expectation, those we place on ourselves and those placed on us by others. These expectations can become a driving force that pushes out the essential, replacing it with the “urgent” which may not be truly urgent.
So, what can we do about this lack of rest in our lives that chips away at our resilience? Here in the NCD we have two amazing resources at our disposal. First is the Anderson House at Camp Shamineau. This is a place dedicated to rest for those in pastoral ministry and available free of charge to those in need of that rest. Second, we have some practical teaching on Sabbath rest from our dear brother Jim Anderson in his book “For God’s Sake, Rest!”. The one provides the place, the other puts “tools in the toolbox” as Jim used to say. But where do you start when you sense you are getting a little frayed around the edges?
First, get some feedback. As we see above with Father Tim, he pressed into a confidante to get an accurate assessment, to be asked the hard questions, and listen carefully to the counsel. Call a trusted friend, ministry partner, or family member who has permission to speak truth into your situation and life. This may initially be hard to hear, but in the long run it will be better for your soul and ministry.
Second, learn to Sabbath in the restful sense of the word, by taking time each week to put down the burdens and expectations and sit at the feet of the One who really knows our heads and hearts and Who loves us in a way we can’t even imagine. Pastor Kenneth Jackson, a pastor from Liberia, who attended one of Jim Anderson’s Theology of Rest teachings, described Sabbath in this simple and beautiful way:
“Sabbath Rest is a meeting of mutual desires: God’s desire for me, my desire for God.” (Pastor Kenneth Jackson, Liberia Student, WATS, 2012)
This thought is echoed in the words of Augustine when he says:
“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” (Augustine of Hippo, Confessions)
Sabbath is a ceasing of work to spend time with the Lord. Jim Anderson provided us with a sweet tool he called the 3-R’s of Sabbath: Release, Review, Remember. To use this tool, it is recommended that you carve out a 3–4-hour time block each week, find a place that is quiet and where you can be alone and uninterrupted. Turn off your phone and prayerfully quiet your heart and mind (A true test of your restfulness is if you can sit still and quiet for 30-minutes. If you can’t, that is a sign you need more rest!).
Once you are in that place physically and spiritually, you begin with Release, the process of sorting out what you are emotionally carrying, and letting God have those things that are truly His to deal with. This starts with making a simple list of all that is a burden on your heart and mind. From that list make a second list of actions you might take for given situations. Once this is done, everything else falls into the category of God-only things and those become prayer points.
The second “R” is Review. This is where you reflect back on the previous week and look for emotional hot-spots, places where you were short with someone or were emotionally raw in some unexpected way. Think and pray about these things and ask God to show you where these reactions come from. Are they griefs? Are they hurts? Are they fears? Then ask God if there is anything or anyone you need to step toward for healing or reconciliation. Here it is OK to ask for some assistance if you feel you need it.
The last “R” is Remember, and here we look back on the greatness and provision of the Lord in our lives, pausing to see where He has been working and then turning those things back to God in praise and worship. Get loud if you want to!
A regular practice of Sabbath Rest is simple, yet profound, and will help you maintain your pastoral resilience as you deal with the everyday struggles of life and ministry. If you have any questions or need any assistance with this or if you are interested in hosting a Sabbath Rest Retreat for your cluster, church or leaders, feel free to reach out to me. May God give you the rest you need.
Director of NCD Pastoral Care